Living in a New Country & Getting Used To It

Although each person's experience of living in a new country is unique, research has shown that there is a common sequence of phases which are typical in the life of most people adapting to an unfamiliar culture.

In brief, some of the stages include;

The Tourist Phase

This is when you feel excitied, stimulated and euphoric as you explore your new surroundings whilst noting the differences from your accustomed way of life.

The Disenchantment Phase

This is when the newness wears off and you become weary of the constant need to change your customary patterns to fit into the new way of doing things.

Your sense of identity and competance in your own culture may not translate easily into your new setting and you struggle to re-establish yourself in an unfamiliar system. What appeared exciting and modern at first may seem impersonal now. You may feel uncomfortable and bewildered and may find yourself becoming irritable. Physical symptoms such as headaches and trouble with sleeping may occur, in addition to homesickness and tensions as a result of the strain of functioning under new rules.

The Culture Shock Phase

In this phase you might find yourself avoiding contact with the new culture and seeking the company of others from your own country or other expats.

You may be highly critical of the host culture and have negative feelings towards the local people. This is a natural response to your need to hold on to your own cultural frame of mind.

Personal Note - this phase seems to be the one that convinces people that they don't fit in, don't belong and start making plans to go back "home". It is very easy to fall into the trap of complaining about stupid silly things that wouldn't normally matter to you (how the shops aren't open on a Sunday, how you can't get your favourite band of mayonnaise etc) and this drags you down and you end up not seeing the positives of why you moved here in the first place.

Not for nothing did the phrase "Whinging Poms" come about. If you find yourself going down this path, find some other more well adjusted and happier people to spend time with and get away from the cycle of complaining (don't forget that some people love to complain and are very happy to dump their views on you).

The Adjustment and Acceptance Phases

As you reach these phases you begin to function with greater ease in your new surroundings. You regain your sense of humour and begin to accept and enjoy the new culture on its own terms, as different from yours rather than wrong or worse than yours.

The main thing is to recognise the reasons why you moved here in the first place and just enjoy them. Don't try to oversell the place to yourself, just think that it usually takes two years before most people feel at home in a new country and try not to rush your feelings along. Some people will settle very quickly (we cetainly did and felt very much at home within a few months but none of the friends that we've made are "whingers" and that has helped with everyone having a positive frame of mind) and others will take 3 or 4 years.